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12 ways to save your marriage from the brink of divorce, according to marriage counselors

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Divorce

  • If your marriage is on the verge of divorce, there are several ways you can still give it another shot.
  • Marriage counselors, psychotherapists, authors, and consultants offer their advice for couples having relationship trouble. 
  • Visualization, writing lists, and reflecting on the reasons you're with your partner can all help improve communication and repair the relationship.
  • "The important thing for couples to remember," says counselor Patrick Di Vietri, "is that both parties must make the same choice in order for things to work out."

If you're on the brink of a divorce, know two things. First, we're sorry to hear that. The fracturing of a marriage or other close relationship is a hell of a thing. Second, we want to offer some help. Because, while it may seem futile, there's always a chance to get your relationship back to where it once was. It just takes work (a lot of work) — and the right direction. That's why we spoke out to an assortment of counselors, psychotherapists, authors, and consultants, all of whom have experience with couples at the DEFCON-1 level of relationship trouble, and asked them for the last-ditch advice they give those who are considering divorce. Here's what they offered.

 

SEE ALSO: I'm a financial planner, and I follow 2 money rules to keep my marriage healthy

Visualize your fantasies

"By the time a couple is saying they want out, their entire focus is often on escaping their present problem with the unrealistic belief that everything will be better when they do. When a couple comes to me with this mindset, I have them fast forward to a post-divorce life: sharing custody (especially around holidays), birthdays, and other significant celebrations; visualizing their exes moving on with new partners, and dating again. Many times, they realize that the grass on the other side is much browner than they thought it would be. Visualization can really put people in touch with what life could be like versus what they see in their escape fantasies. The usual outcome is a shift in their focus — everything that is bad and wrong turns to what brought them together in the first place, what does work in their relationship, and what they could be giving up that can likely never be replaced."

– Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC, Psychotherapist, Relationship Coach, Divorce Mediator at Nova Divorce Mediation in Virginia

 



Realize you have a choice

"As a therapist, I am a huge advocate of Viktor Frankl and his Logotherapy approach — basically reminding couples that they have a choice. That choice may not be easy to recognize or to follow through on, but through making a choice, even the most hopeless-seeming dynamics can start to improve. The important thing for couples to remember in this situation is that both parties must make the same choice in order for things to work out. If both people choose to work on the marriage, then they are also choosing to work on communication patterns, priorities that may have gotten in the way of the relationship, and wounds that each other have caused. In my experience, couples do not go into counseling unless they have hope that they can save the relationship. In these scenarios, it is imperative to give the couple some perspective, which starts with reminding them that they always have a choice."

– Patrick Di Vietri, Licensed Professional Counselor / National Certified Counselor / Director of Therapy Services, Hope Therapy and Wellness Center in Virginia 

 



Understand that you've let your partner morph into your enemy

"Intimate partners unconsciously look to one another to validate and 'grow' the parts of themselves they could not acknowledge, experience, or express in their families of origin. The same qualities we adore and idealize in our partners at first become the most frustrating to deal with because they represent the shadow parts of our own minds that we don't allow ourselves to feel, leading us to reject them in our partners, too. Most couples don't see what's truly driving their arguments, and get stuck in endless cycles of defensiveness, withdrawal, or angry demand. Some partners become so disillusioned and filled with hate that they just give up in hopeless resignation. The thing to remember is that every argument contains a secret wish for growth. Don't let your partner morph into your enemy. Instead, stop the cycle and unlock the potential of your marriage to be the powerful force for healing and growth that it can be."

 Ma'ayan Greenbaum, PsyD, Licensed Psychologist & Online Conscious Couples Coach in New Jersey

 



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

I switched to Spotify two months ago — and I miss Apple Music every single day (AAPL, SPOT)

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Spotify app

A few months back, I made a major life change: I've been using Apple Music for about two years, but decided to make the switch to Spotify's premium service. 

It wasn't because I found an issue with Apple Music, but because I bought a few Google Home Mini devices for my new apartment. Apple Music doesn't work on any Google Home, or the Amazon Echo, for that matter — you need an Apple HomePod if you want an Apple Music-compatible smart speaker.

Google's smart speakers do allow you to play music from Apple Music, just as you would with a Bluetooth speaker — by pairing your phone and controlling everything on there. 

But if I was going to spend the money on Google Home Minis — which cost $50 apiece or $78 if you buy two, which I did — I wanted to get my money's worth. Plus, I've been using a Google Home Max at my house for the last six months. Altogether, I currently have a nice little Google Home ecosystem, and I wanted to get the most out of it. 

I naively thought that making the switch would be an easy one. Both apps offer access to a massive music library, provide personalized, curated playlists, and allow you to do things like listen to podcasts and radio. While Apple Music has gotten a few artist exclusives in the past, both apps currently offer most of the music I want to listen to. 

Now, two months into using Spotify, I'm longing for my old life as an Apple Music user. 

My issues with Spotify center around my personal preferences, and they're extremely specific to the way I use the app. Still, I can't help feeling like Spotify just isn't the app for me. 

Here are five reasons why:

SEE ALSO: We compared Google News and Apple's built-in News app for the iPhone to see which one is better — and there's a clear winner

First and foremost, I'm not really a "dark mode" kind of gal.

Whenever possible, I like to leave my apps set to light mode — somehow, my brain seems to comprehend a white background better than a black one. Whenever I look at content on a black background, it's confusing for me and I have trouble knowing what to look at first.

But Spotify is only available with a black background, and that has been the No. 1 issue for me. Of course, the reverse could be true for people who prefer a dark mode, since Apple Music is only available with a white background. 



In general, I find that the interface is busier and more difficult to navigate than Apple Music.

Maybe it's Apple Music's big, bubbly headings and extra-large font, but I find the app more appealing and easier to use than Spotify. 

Don't get me wrong, Spotify is a beautiful app, particularly when it comes to the playlist covers. But it also feels cluttered and over-designed to my eye — the font is too small, and there are too many icons for my taste. 

When I was an Apple Music user, I felt as though I most often just scrolled up and down, or Force Touched on a song or album to pull up a menu of options. On Spotify, there are so many carousels and menus that I feel like I'm constantly swiping vertically, then horizontally, then vertically again every time I navigate the app. 

Of course, this is all about personal preference, and I've realized that I prefer a cleaner, more minimalist app.



My downloaded music isn't all stored in one place on Spotify.

I don't have an unlimited data plan, and I spend a good portion of my life underground on the subway. Therefore, being able to download music is very important to me — as is being able to easily access that downloaded music. 

While Apple Music makes that incredibly easy, Spotify...doesn't. Apple Music has a separate tab that houses all of the music you already have downloaded, while Spotify just mixes it in with the rest of your library.

Not only that, but the app places all this other stuff ahead of your list of music, like tabs for podcasts (I don't listen to them) and videos (I don't watch them on Spotify). Despite all those tabs, Spotify strangely doesn't have a "Downloaded Music" tab, and that's all I really want.

I should point out that if you click on the "Songs" tab, you should see your downloaded songs there. However, they're not organized by album like on Apple Music, they're just displayed in a long list. And for me, a few non-downloaded songs snuck in there as well.  



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

How much raw material it takes to make 11 everyday foods and products, from sugar cubes to iPhones

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You'd be surprised by how much raw material goes into the everyday items you use.

For example, take your coffee habit. The average cup of coffee requires about 100 beans. So if you drink one cup per day, you'd need at least nine coffee trees producing full-time to give you a year's worth of joe. (That's not to mention the vast amounts of water, fertilizer, and manual labor needed to keep a coffee farm running.)

In our modern lives, it's often easy to forget how many resources we're using day to day, since most of us are far removed from the places and processes in which most foods and products are made. 

For that reason, we've compiled this list of how much raw material goes into 11 common food items and products.

SEE ALSO: 15 books Bill Gates says you should read this summer

It takes around a pound of sugarcane, depending on the variety, to produce 15 sugar cubes.

Sugar production is a global industry, spanning the planet's tropical and subtropical regions. It's labor-intensive process: Sugarcane, the plant sugar comes from, must be harvested — usually by hand — and then cut, mashed, and boiled to become sugar.

Depending on the variety, one ton of sugarcane can yield between 170 and 225 pounds of refined sugar, according to Purdue University's Center for New Crops and Plant Products.

That means you'd need roughly one pound of sugarcane to make 15 3-gram sugar cubes, or around 3 ounces of raw sugarcane to make one sugar cube.

 

 



Each iPhone contains 31 grams of aluminum.

Your iPhone contains a number of metals, including titanium and iron. But there is far more aluminum, which is used to make your phone's outer case, than any other metal.

Aluminum comprises around 24% of an iPhone's mass, followed by iron, which makes up around 14% of the device's mass, according to Motherboard.  

The rest of the iPhone contains various rare earth elements and other metals like titanium, cobalt and nickel. 



You'll need the annual yield of nine coffee trees to give you one cup of coffee per day for a year.

Here's how this breaks down: An average cup of coffee uses around 100 coffee beans. A coffee tree can produce, on average, 4,000 coffee beans in a year, according to Treehugger. That means you'll need at least nine trees to produce a year's worth of coffee for a cup-per-day drinker.

That's not to mention the inputs required for coffee to grow, get roasted, or brew, nor the fact that it takes a coffee tree at least 5 years to reach full productivity. 



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

The 35 cities in the US with the biggest influx of people, the most work opportunities, and the hottest business growth

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  • MagnifyMoney looked at the 100 largest US metros to determine the "biggest boomtowns" in America.
  • In these up-and-coming cities, population and housing, workforce and employment opportunities, and business are booming. 
  • Texas cities took up one-third of the top 15 metros, with Austin taking the top spot.

If you're looking for an up-and-coming city with a growing business scene, you won't find popular destinations like New York City or Los Angeles on any list.

Rather, Texas and parts of the Mountain region are taking over and considered the "biggest boomtowns" in America.

That's according to MagnifyMoney, which looked at the 100 largest metropolitan areas around the US and their change from 2011-2016 to determine which cities have the biggest influx of people, most work opportunities, and biggest business growth based on US Census data.

To calculate the ranking, every metro was scored on a scale of 100 in three categories:

  • People and housing: How many people are flocking to the area and is the metro keeping up, considering total population and housing units. 
  • Workforce and employment opportunities: Unemployment rates, civilian labor force, and median earnings. 
  • Growing industry: Rate of business and industry growth, including number of establishments and paid employees per paid period.

Each category was scored relative to other metros and looking at positive and negative changes in the area. The biggest positive change scores a 100, except unemployment rate, which was reversed in respect to the scale. 

Below are the top 35 metros that showed the most people, business, and opportunity growth over a five-year period. 

SEE ALSO: The 15 US states where young people are moving in, jobs are plentiful, and business is booming

DON'T MISS: 25 states where retirees hate the weather, lack healthcare, and are spending a fortune to get by

35. Greenville, South Carolina

Population and housing score: 31.7

Workforce and earning score: 43.2

Business growth score: 38.3



34. Columbus, Ohio

Population and housing score: 31.9

Workforce and earning score: 38.9

Business growth score: 44.1



33. Omaha, Nebraska

Population and housing score: 38.2

Workforce and earning score: 44

Business growth score: 35.7



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

Abraham Lincoln, JFK, and Richard Nixon were all middle children — take a look at which US presidents were oldest, youngest, and everywhere in between

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  • The majority of US presidents were middle children.
  • Firstborn kids made up the second largest group among the 44 commanders-in-chief.
  • There's hasn't yet been a president who was an only child.
  • Take a look at the birth order of all of the US presidents throughout history.


A lot of US presidents may have suffered from middle child syndrome.

Throughout history, the majority of out commanders-in-chief have been middle children. Firstborns make a decent showing as well. As for youngest children, only seven of them have ascended to the highest political office in the country. And no only child has ascended to the White House yet.

But does birth order really make someone more or less likely to become president?

From the looks of it, not really. Still, bragging rights go to all the middle children out there. Next time your siblings bug you, picture how embarrassed they'll be once you're the leader of the free world.

Here's a look at the birth order — and family background — of each of the 44 US presidents:

SEE ALSO: The 34 colleges that produced the most US presidents

DON'T MISS: A look at the zodiac signs of all the US presidents

SEE ALSO: 19 US presidents' surprising first jobs

First borns: 14 American presidents have been firstborn children

Firstborn children may often be natural leaders, but only 14 US presidents were the oldest children in their respective families — or, in the case of James Buchanan and Barack Obama, effectively raised as firstborns.

This might come as a surprise, given recent research into how birth order influences personality. Business Insider previously reported that oldest children often gravitate toward positions of power, and are more likely to become CEOs or found companies than their younger counterparts.

That being said, firstborn children also tend to be more risk-averse than their siblings. And running for the highest office in the land is a pretty big risk.



One of John Adams's younger brothers died in the American Revolution

John Adams was the oldest of three boys born to John Adams Sr. and Susannah Boylston Adams. His two younger brothers were Peter and Elihu.

Peter Adams went on to serve as a captain during during the American Revolution, according to the Smithsonian Museum of Art. According to the website Find A Grave, he survived the war and died in 1823, three years before his older brother.

Elihu Adams, the youngest Adams boy, followed Peter's footsteps and became a militia captain when fighting broke out in the colonies. He died of dysentery along the banks of the Charles River during the Siege of Boston in 1775, according to David McCullough's "John Adams."



James Madison was a leader among his siblings

James Madison may have been the smallest president in history, but he was still a big brother to his large gaggle of siblings.

Madison was the first of 12 children born to James Madison Sr. and Nelly Conway Madison. Six of those siblings survived childhood.

By 1779, Madison was still in close contact with his family, despite being busy with his burgeoning political career.

The future president retained his leadership role among his siblings, and even fretted over how the American Revolution would disrupt the education of his youngest surviving brother William.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

Only a single Blockbuster remains open in all of America. Here's what it's like to visit.

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blockbuster bend

  • Blockbuster has just one store that remains open in the United States, located in Bend, Oregon.
  • The retailer announced in July that the final two Blockbuster locations in Alaska are shutting up shop, leaving the Bend location standing alone across the US. 
  •  To hear the full story of the life and death of Blockbuster in Alaska, subscribe to Business Insider's podcast, "Household Name."
  • Read on to see what it's like to visit the last Blockbuster in America. 

 

Blockbuster's last stand in the United States is in Bend, Oregon.

In July, Blockbuster announced that the last two stores in Alaska would close up shop

"Let's be real, you have Netflix, you have Redbox," Kevin Daymude, a Blockbuster manager in Alaska prior to the stores' closure in the state, told reporter Emily Russell in an interview for Business Insider's podcast, "Household Name." 

"The economy is tough right now," Daymude said. "So, people are still renting — but they aren't renting as much."

The closure leaves just one Blockbuster location left in the entire US.

The holdout is in Bend, a city in central Oregon with an estimated population just shy of 100,000. As the last Blockbuster locations across the US have closed — with two other Blockbusters in Oregon closing in recent months — travelers have begun making their way to Bend in a nostalgic pilgrimage to the video-rental chain.

For Blockbuster lovers desperately missing the store, and for video-rental virgins raised on Netflix, here's what it's like to visit the final remaining Blockbuster in the US:

LISTEN: How Blockbuster managed to survive in Alaska

SEE ALSO: The manager of the last Blockbusters in Alaska speaks out on the death of the chain, nostalgic tourists, and Russell Crowe's jockstrap

Blockbuster was able to keep stores open in Alaska longer than most of the US thanks in part to its long, cold winters and slow WiFi.



The Bend location, however, seems to have found success thanks to a mix of strong finances, loyal customers, and nostalgic tourists.



Bend's Blockbuster sign is instantly recognizable and a guaranteed nostalgia trigger for any child of the '90s.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

MORGAN STANLEY: CEO turnover is on the rise and these 7 cloud software companies have the most to lose (CHGG, SHOP)

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Domino effect

Intel employees woke up one morning at the end of June to surprising news: Brian Krzanich, CEO of the company since 2013, had resigned after the board found he had violated company policy by having an affair with an employee. 

Krzanich's departure came as a surprise to many, including a former board member who told Business Insider's Julie Bort that the decision to find new leadership at the $228 billion chip company was sudden. But Intel quickly replaced Krzanich with an interim CEO in the form of then-CFO Bob Swan, and went on to have a pretty good quarter.

Not all companies will be so lucky, according to a new report published by Morgan Stanley on Monday, which found that CEO departures meaningfully impact shareholder value.

"As a majority of CEO departures are unexpected, this elevated level of turnover suggests that investors should be increasingly aware of companies that face 'key man' risk, or those that have a high level of reliance on a single individual," wrote equity analysts Mark Savino, Jessica Alsford and Victoria Irving.

In 2017, CEO departures reached a their highest level since before the financial crisis, according to the report. S&P 500 companies that lost a CEO in 2017 underperformed by 11% over the following 12 months, or since the departure if it was less than 12 months ago.

The report identified CEOs across sectors whose departure would have the biggest negative impact on their company's value. We pulled out the seven CEOs in the cloud software-as-a-service (SaaS) space, who investors should take pains to monitor closely.

SEE ALSO: A Salesforce competitor just raised $100 million from Silicon Valley investors to become India's first enterprise-software unicorn

Chegg's Daniel Rosensweig

Rosenweig has played a pivotal role in transitioning Chegg into the significant education tech player that it is today.

"Mr. Rosensweig became CEO in 2010 when Chegg was just a textbook rental company. Since then, he has taken the company public and has transformed the company into a 100% digital business," Morgan Stanley wrote in the report. "Further, Mr. Rosenweig has played a key role in transitioning free products to subscription based products."

The report describes Rosenweig as a "visionary," but added that a "strong succession plan is most likely not in place" in the event that he leaves. 



DXC Technology's Mike Lawrie

Morgan Stanley credits Lawrie with turning DXC around for the better, which is why investors see him as key to the IT service provider's success moving forward.

"He took control of the DXC in 2012 and has since significantly transformed the business," according to the report. "During his tenure, the stock has gone from $9.6 billion in market cap in 2014 to $22.8 billion today. Many investors have a positive view of Mr. Lawrie and ascribe DXC's success to him." 



Medidata Solution's Tarek Sherif

Sherif, who cofounded life sciences data analysis software company Medidata Solutions in 1999, took on the role of CEO in 2001. This long history with the company has given investors confidence in his leadership, though Morgan Stanley believes that Sherif has a strong enough management team around him to carry on if he ever departs.

Still, Sherif is a key asset to the company, according to the report. 

"As CEO, Mr. Sherif grew the company from a small startup to a 600-employee company with a $5 billion market cap. In his extensive tenure, Mr. Sherif has also called a majority of decisions made by the company, signifying his importance," it says 



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

The most surprising things about America, according to a Silicon Valley engineer who moved from India 7 years ago

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  • LinkedIn software designer Aniruddh Chaturvedi moved to the US from India in 2011.
  • In an email to Business Insider, Chaturvedi listed the most surprising things he discovered about American culture.
  • They include a love of road trips, the low price of soda, and Americans' tendency to display the US flag everywhere.


Sometimes you don't realize what makes your country unique until you hear it from an outsider.

Aniruddh Chaturvedi, a senior software designer at LinkedIn, came to the US from India in 2011, and was immediately surprised by certain aspects of American culture. He now lives in California.

In a Quora post, Chaturvedi explained what he considered the most surprising things about the United States, drawn from his experience at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh and from his time working at various Silicon Valley tech companies. He emailed additional thoughts to Business Insider.

Here are the highlights, from the high integrity of American students to the outrageously low price of soda: 

SEE ALSO: This map shows the US really has 11 separate 'nations' with entirely different cultures

DON'T MISS: These photos of prison cells around the world show how differently countries treat their criminals

In America, 'everyone is highly private about their accomplishments and failures.'

"Someone's performance in any field is their performance alone. This is different compared to India where people flaunt their riches and share their accomplishments with everybody else."



Shopping in America is nothing like it is in other countries.

"The retail experience is nowhere near as fun/nice as it is in India. Because labor is cheap in India, there is always someone who will act as a 'personal shopper' to assist you with holding your clothes, giving suggestions, etc."

"In America, on the other hand, even if you go to a Nordstrom or Bloomingdales, there is almost nobody to help you out while you're shopping. Shopping in America is more of a commodity/chore than it is a pleasurable activity."



American students love to collaborate and support each other.

"Before I came to the United States, I heard stories about how students at Johns Hopkins were so competitive with each other that they used to tear important pages from books in the library just so other students didn't have access to it."

"In reality, I experienced the complete opposite. Students were highly collaborative, formed study groups, and studied/did assignments till everyone in the group 'got it.' I think the reason for this is that the classes are/material is so hard that it makes sense to work collaboratively to the point that students learn from each other."



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

Omarosa's tell-all, the Charlottesville anniversary, and the 2020 election — here are the highlights from Sunday's political shows

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Sunday shows

Reports of fiery allegations against President Donald Trump in an upcoming tell-all memoir by former White House adviser Omarosa Manigault Newman, the anniversary of deadly riots in Charlottesville, and the creeping up of the 2020 election set the stage for this week's high-profile political appearances on cable news stations.

The Sunday shows are a chance for political heavyweights to debate the week's most pressing stories and policies. They include: ABC's "This Week," CBS's "Face the Nation," CNN's "State of the Union," Fox's "Fox News Sunday," and NBC's "Meet the Press."

Here are this week's highlights:

SEE ALSO: The 'Manhattan Madam' who ran a high-end prostitution ring in the 2000s was questioned in the Mueller probe — here's everything we know about her

SEE ALSO: How Trump and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez energized a group of women looking to reshape New York politics

Omarosa Manigault Newman released audio of Chief of Staff John Kelly firing her in the Situation Room to prove she has tapes from her time in the White House.

Former White House adviser Omarosa Manigault Newman sat for an exclusive interview with Chuck Todd on NBC's "Meet the Press" after allegations from her new book caught fire this past week.

In her tell-all memoir that's due out this week, Manigault Newman claimed she secretly recorded President Donald Trump and other staff members during her year-long stint in the West Wing.

On Sunday morning, she played one of the recordings, in which Chief of Staff John Kelly is heard firing her in the White House Situation Room.

That wasn't the only reported allegation from the book to circulate this week. Manigault Newman also reportedly labeled Trump a "racist,""misogynist," and a "bigot," and shared accounts of him using a racial slur on the set of "The Apprentice" and eating a piece of paper in the Oval Office.

Read more: Business Insider



Kellyanne Conway hit back at allegations of racism in the Trump administration.

Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway hit back at the supposed content of Manigault Newman's book on Sunday, defending the president against allegations of racism on ABC's "This Week."

Conway said Manigault Newman had "undercut her credibility" by crafting bombshell allegations and called her a "tremendous disappointment" for focusing on the president's behavior in her book instead of the gains the administration has made for minority populations, because that "doesn't sell books and that doesn't settle scores."

The main allegation Conway was addressing was that Trump used the N-word while on the set of "The Apprentice" when Manigault Newman was a contestant in 2004. Conway rejected the suggestion that the president is racist, and stated the administration greatly values and has made huge gains for minority populations.

Read more: Business Insider

Host Jon Karl then asked Conway for the name of any top African-American staffer since  Manigault Newman's departure last year.

"Who now is that person?" Karl asked. "Who is the most prominent, high-level adviser to president on the West Wing staff right now?"

"We have Ja'Ron," Conway said, declining to provide a last name or the name of another staffer.

Read more: Business Insider

The Trump administration's response to racial tension has been subject to scrutiny in the midst of the one-year anniversary of a violent clash between white supremacists and counter-protesters in Charlottesville, Virginia, that arose over the removal of a Confederate statue.



Virginia Sen. Tim Kaine says 'hate will not define' Virginia, one year after Charlottesville riots

Virginia Sen. Tim Kaine said that "hate will not define Virginia" in an interview aired on Sunday, the one-year anniversary of the violent clash between white supremacists and counter-protesters in Charlottesville.

Kaine told CBS Trump's failure to condemn the white nationalists following the rally "stoked division" among Americans, and was "every bit as morally bad as holding views that are that are bigoted or racist."

Read more: CBS News

Other Virginia lawmakers appeared in interviews Sunday to reflect on the anniversary, including former Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe, who criticized Trump's response to last year's violence.

"There's a time in your presidency when you need to show moral leadership and you need to stand and send a message to the world," McAuliffe said. "He failed that day."

Read more: CNN



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

The 13 best places to visit in September for every type of traveler

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  •  To find the best places to visit in September 2018, Business Insider looked at climate data, cultural calendars, and peak travel times.
  • September is shoulder season for many top tourism destinations, and savvy travelers are already planning their trips.
  • The best places to visit in September include American natural wonders like the Grand Canyon and New Hampshire's White Mountains, as well as the romantic Indian city of Udaipur and metropolises like London and Melbourne.


The summer is nearly over, but that doesn't mean you have to put your travel dreams on hold.

September is shoulder season in much of the world, and savvy travelers know that's often the best time to visit must-see locations.

We looked at airfare trends, climate data, and cultural calendars to select 13 vacation spots that are some of the best places to visit in September. They range from American natural wonders to a romantic Indian getaway to bustling metropolises waiting to be explored.

Whether you're an adventure-seeker, a beach-lover, or a nature buff, there's something in these destinations for everyone. Take a look at the best places to visit for a September trip, and plan away.

SEE ALSO: 13 places to visit in August for every type of traveler

Grand Canyon National Park, Arizona

September is the perfect month to visit the Grand Canyon, one of the America's most famous natural wonders. With summer vacationers and road-trippers out of the picture, you'll be competing with far fewer people for the best vantage points.

On top of that, temperatures are much more comfortable this time of year. While summer temperatures at the bottom of the Grand Canyon often reach triple digits, in September they fall to the 80s and 90s, and even as cool as the high-60s at the top of the canyon. Meanwhile, if you visit the national park after autumn, many areas will be shut down until the weather heats up again.



Las Vegas, Nevada

Las Vegas is always busy, but the end of summer does see a slight reduction in tourist traffic. The big draw for Vegas in September is the temperature, which drops to around 70 degrees at night. Wait one more month, and you'll need a warm jacket. Wait one more, and you start to compete with holiday visitors.



Outer Banks, North Carolina

North Carolina's famed Outer Banks have a more laid-back and local feel once the annual wave of summer tourists starts to dissipate.

The 200-mile stretch of islands entices visitors from all over with its vast beachfronts, historic lighthouses, and wild horses that roam the landscape. History buffs will also appreciate the Wright Brothers National Memorial near Kitty Hawk and various dedications to Virginia Dare, the first English child born in the modern-day United States.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

Here's how Samsung's new $330 Galaxy Watch compares to the Apple Watch

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Galaxy Watch

Samsung's latest competitor to the Apple Watch is here: the Galaxy Watch, a $330 fitness-focused smartwatch. 

Samsung introduced the new smartwatch on stage at its Unpacked event last week. The Galaxy Watch isn't Samsung's first wearable, but it's the first with the Galaxy brand name — in the past, Samsung's smartwatches have been under the "Gear" branding.

The Galaxy Watch also sets itself apart with two key features: battery life (the watch can last up to four days on a single charge, Samsung says) and a rotating crown that lets you control the watch like a dial. Plus, it looks more like a standard watch than most other smartwatches on the market, Apple Watch included. 

Still, Apple Watch is the best-selling smartwatch in the world, and Samsung faces an uphill battle if it wants to unseat Apple as the queen of smartwatches. 

So as the Apple Watch and the Galaxy Watch prepare to go head-to-head — the Galaxy Watch will be available August 24 — here's how the two watches are similar and different. 

SEE ALSO: How Samsung's new Galaxy Note 9 compares with last year's Galaxy Note 8

NOW READ: I've spent the last 24 hours with Samsung's new Galaxy Note 9 — here are my first impressions

There are a lot of ways in which the watches are similar. Both the Galaxy Watch and the Apple Watch Series 3 come in three colors: black, silver, and rose gold.



The Galaxy Watch and Apple Watch start at the same price: $329.

The 42 mm Galaxy Watch, which comes in black and rose gold, costs $329. The 46 mm Galaxy Watch, which comes in silver, costs $349. Samsung hasn't said if there's a price increase for the cellular version of the Galaxy Watch, which is coming later this year. 

The 38 mm Apple Watch Series 3 with GPS costs $329, but the price goes up when you increase the size and add cellular:

  • The 38 mm Apple Watch with both GPS and cellular costs $399
  • The 42 mm Apple Watch with GPS costs $359
  • The 42 mm Apple Watch with GPS and cellular costs $429. 


The Galaxy Watch and Apple Watch both have OLED displays, although they're totally different shapes.



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13 things I wish I knew about breastfeeding before I had a baby

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When I was pregnant, I had dreamy visions of breastfeeding my son on lounge chair, holding him peacefully while looking out at the ocean and perhaps sipping a glass of lemonade.

In reality, it has been the single biggest challenge of new parenthood for me. I never expected it to hurt so badly. I paid hundreds of dollars to a person called a lactation consultant, and have literally cried over spilt milk.

At the same time, I've gained a new appreciation for my body as it keeps another human being alive.

Here are some of the things about breastfeeding that surprised me most once I started doing it.

You're supposed to start breastfeeding within the hour after you give birth.

If you thought you'd get some time to rest up after labor, think again.

Newborns tend to be alert in the first hour after they're born, and as long as they're healthy, that's the prime window for initiating breastfeeding. Early initiation ensures that newborns get those first few drops of "pre-milk," or colostrum, and cues the body to start producing milk.

I was also surprised to find my newborn "rooting"— automatically moving his mouth towards my breast — almost as soon as he was put on my chest.



It takes a few days for milk production to kick into gear.

Most mothers don't actually start producing breast milk until three or four days after they give birth. 

Instead, they produce a "pre-milk" called colostrum, a liquid that's filled with antibodies and immunoglobulins that give your newborn immunity and help protect her fragile digestive system.

Colostrum is secreted in tiny quantities, but that's OK since a newborn's stomach starts out about the size of a marble, according to La Leche League International.



Breastfeeding can really hurt, especially in the beginning.

I was surprised by how badly breastfeeding hurt for the first few weeks, to the point that I dreaded hearing my baby's "hungry" cry.

Part of the problem was that it took a while for him to learn to "latch," or get properly hooked on my breast, and there was a real learning curve for both of us.  

Products like lanolin nipple cream and nipple shields can provide some relief, but in my experience, it took six or seven weeks to get to a place where I didn't wince each time my baby ate.



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How to know if you're in a toxic relationship — and what to do about it

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  • It can be hard to know when to forgive someone, as opposed to just cutting them out for good.
  • INSIDER spoke with a relationship expert, who outlined all the signs of a toxic friendship, as well as how to know if you're in one.
  • If someone doesn't respect you, your time, your money, or your other relationships, it's time to move on.
  • Saying goodbye is never easy, but it's important to take care of yourself.


We hear about toxic relationships a lot, whether it's in a romantic or a platonic sense. But what exactly is a toxic friendship? And how do we know when we're in one?

For one, it's different than simply not getting along with someone or having a difference of opinion — it's when a relationship starts to take a toll on your mental health.

INSIDER spoke with April Masini, a relationship expert and author, who defined what exactly a toxic friendship is, and how to know whether you're in one.

What is a toxic friend?

There have been many examples of toxic friendships in media over the years, from Blair and Serena in "Gossip Girl" to Amber and Cher in "Clueless." But sometimes, it's not so easy to see that you're a part of one.

Masini defines a toxic friendship as a friendship "that creates harm, over time, on a regular basis. It's a relationship that appears to be normal, but the more time you spend examining it, the more clearly you will see that one person — or both people — is being harmed by staying in it."

It seems simple enough to spot — but unfortunately that's not always the case. And the toxicity might not come from a vicious place, either. "Very often there are underlying problems like low self-esteem, a history of abuse, or some other problem that causes people to seek out and stay in these relationships," Masini explained. "Bottom line: toxic friendships cause pain on a regular basis."

Further, Masini says that if you have a toxic friend, they're most likely not going to change, meaning that it's best for you to just say goodbye.



Some things are friendship deal-breakers.

INSIDER asked Masini what she believes are friendship deal-breakers — in other words, what lines shouldn't be crossed in a friendship. If any of these scenarios sound familiar, it might be time to stop making excuses for someone, and to start deciding if this person deserves a place in your life.

The first, Masini said, is self-absorption. "Me, me, me. If you have a friend who isn’t empathetic and can only beexcited about his or her own life, get out. Friendship should be a two-way street," Masini explained, "Both people should be there for each other to cheer each other on, empathize over tough times, and enjoy life together."

Another problematic quality in a friend is the need to sabotage someone else. "When your friend tries to steal your dates, get your boss' attention for him or herself, and is competing with you more than supporting you, it's time to get out of that relationship. Your friends should have your back — not be gunning for it. If your friend is after your relationships with others, it's time to find a better friend," said Masini.

The final problem, according to Masini, is disrespect. "If your friend doesn’t respect your time or your money, that's a deal breaker. When your friend is always borrowing money, but never paying any of it back, and worse — feels insulted when you ask to be paid back, there's not enough respect in this relationship to make it go the distance. Same with your time. If your friend expects you to drop everything whenever he or she needs you — that shows a lack of respect for your life."



Still not sure? Think back on your friendship as a whole.

If you're still unsure about a friend, a simple way to evaluate how healthy your relationship is, is to think back on your interactions. Masini outlined a few instances when it can become clear that you're a part of a toxic friendship. If a friend...

  • puts you down and makes you the butt of jokes in public.
  • makes plans with you, but drops you if a better offer comes along.
  • is always out of money and expects you to pay for everything, without ever keeping a tab or paying you back.
  • co-opts your relationships and sleeps with your boyfriends or flirts with your father or mother, and befriends your siblings.
  • does things with your best friends without you.
  • sabotages your career and can't be happy for your successes.

... then you're probably part of an unhealthy relationship. These are classic forms of bullying, and can be considered emotionally abusive. And that's when you know it's time to let them go, says Masini.



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13 iconic on-screen couples who didn't work out in real life

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It's easy to project a character's love life onto the person who portrays them. But sometimes, this ease is due to genuine, real-life emotion shining through.

Plenty of actors fall in love off screen as their characters fall in love on screen, which often adds an extra layer of pain when they break up (for fans, anyway). These 13 couples boast iconic, timeless, fictional love stories — but weren't able to make it work in real life.

Gabriella Montez and Troy Bolton were the power couple in all three "High School Musical" movies.

Troy and Gabriella are your average high school sweethearts: they bonded through spontaneous karaoke, weathered a brief summer breakup, and ended up attending college exactly 32.7 miles apart. But not before announcing that decision onstage to a cheering, clapping audience. 



In real life, Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron dated for four years.

Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron began dating one year after meeting on set. They remained a couple for two years after wrapping up at East High, but their post-Disney Channel careers and growing fame led them to split in 2010.

"Long-distance relationships are hard no matter what," Hudgens told Shape magazine in 2011. "When you don't have face-to-face time, it's just different. Having an iPhone helped, but it just wasn't the same." 



Tyler Gage and Nora Clark were dance partners in "Step Up."

While initially suspicious of each other, Tyler and Nora found common ground in dance. They fell in love and, as was revealed in the film's sequel, went on tour together after graduating high school.



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You can stay at this stunning luxury treehouse in England — take a look inside

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Wayfair Tree House exterior 2

Thanks to the tiny home movement, treehouses are becoming trendy. But not every traveler wants to lean into the minimalist lifestyle permanently. 

If you want to spend time in nature without compromising on modern amenities, TripAdvisor Rentals collaborated with home goods seller Wayfair to create a luxury treehouse in England's North Devon region. With features ranging from a plush velvet sofa to a wood-fired pizza oven, guests can unwind in style. 

Keep reading to take a virtual tour of this stunning woodland abode.

TripAdvisor Rentals' three-room treehouse isn't your typical woodland abode.

A collaboration with Wayfair's UK team, the treehouse is a luxe-meets-rustic getaway in England's North Devon region. 

It was crafted from local timber and constructed by builders and carpenters from the area.

 

 

 

 

 



It's the first treehouse that home goods seller Wayfair has designed.

Nadia McCowan Hill, resident style advisor at Wayfair.co.uk, told INSIDER that Wayfair partnered with combat-injured veteran and quadruple amputee Travis Mills in 2017 to style and furnish a 16-room, ADA-compliant vacation retreat.

"To complete the 11,000 square-foot space, nearly 800 pieces of furniture and décor were donated by Wayfair and many of its employees volunteered to quickly assemble and install the furnishings in just one week," McCowan Hill said.

 

 

 



But Wayfair did collaborate with TripAdvisor once before — on a rainforest-inspired "luxury penthouse" in one of the London Eye's capsules.

Last year, Wayfair partnered with the brand to host a global competition for people to win an overnight stay in one of the London Eye's capsules, which was furnished as a rainforest-inspired "luxury penthouse" for the contest

 

 

 

 



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This tool lets you bequeath your Google account to a trusted person when you die — here's how to set it up

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If you've ever worried about what would befall your Gmail, photos, documents, YouTube videos, and other digital data in the event of a terrible accident or your own death, you're not alone. 

It's a little dark to think about, but the good news is that Google has your back.

The service offers a feature that will bequeath your Google account and all of its contents to up to 10 pre-selected trustees, and even let you set your account to self-delete after an extended period of inactivity. 

Here's how to set it up:

SEE ALSO: We compared 3 of the most popular note taking apps for iPhone — but the winner depends on what you want to do

To get started, you'll want to make sure you're logged in to your Google account, and find your Account settings.

Click on the tile menu, and "Account" should be the very first module in the drop-down window. 



From your the landing page for your account settings, you'll want to click "Personal info and privacy."

Google doesn't really advertise this feature, and bury it pretty deeply among the dozens of other account customizations, making it feel like the morbid needle in a settings haystack. 



From here, you'll have to scroll almost all the way down the page, until you see the section titled "Assign an account Trustee." On the right side, you'll see an entry to the "Inactive Account Manager." Go ahead and click "CHANGE THIS SETTING" to set it up.

This page doesn't include any mentions of the word "death" or establishing a virtual will of all your Google data, but trust me, that's what we're doing. 



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Every food Meghan Markle reportedly isn't allowed to eat now that she's a member of the royal family

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Now that she's an official member of the British royal family, Meghan Markle has a lot to learn when it comes to being a duchess. From who gets to enter and leave a 
room first (The Queen, obvi) to the clothes that will never be a part of Markle's royal wardrobe (throw out those ripped jeans), the royal family unsurprisingly has a lot of strict rules, and their diet is no exception.

Let's examine the ordinary and not-so-ordinary foods that Markle will have to cut out of her diet now that she's a royal. Of course, each food has its own specific situation where it can and cannot be eaten (these are the royals, we're talking about), but here is a comprehensive list of foods that have some sort of royal rule associated with them. Could you live on the royal diet?

Foie Gras

Foie gras might be considered one of the most upscale meals there is, but in the royal family, they won’t even come close to it. In 2008, Prince Charles banned royal households from serving foie gras, a luxury dish consisting of fatty duck or goose liver, amid outrage over animal cruelty. The dish was banned from all royal menus except for the royal House of Cheese which continued to serve it until its warrant was up for review.

“The Prince of Wales has asked me to write and thank you for your letter about animal welfare issues surrounding the production of foie gras and your experience in Tetbury,” Andrew Farquharson, Prince Charles’s Deputy Master of the Household, told the Daily Mail in a statement. “I just wanted to reassure you that The Prince of Wales has a policy that his chefs should not buy foie gras. His Royal Highness was not aware that the House of Cheese sells foie gras and this will be addressed when their warrant is reviewed.”



Garlic

Garlic is an ingredient that appears in almost every meal—except the royal’s. In an interview with the Express, Darren McGrady, the royal chef at Buckingham Palace, revealed that royal family members are prohibited from eating garlic. Per the Express, Queen Elizabeth II is known to hate garlic, which is why she banned it from royal menus. Known for its strong smell, garlic is also off-limits in the palace to avoid royal family members from having smelly breath when taking important meetings. “The Queen would never have garlic on the menu,” McGrady said.



Onions

Though onions aren’t flat-out banned like garlic, don’t expect a lot of it in royal meals. In the same Express interview, McGrady revealed that Queen Elizabeth II has a strict limit on how much onion can be put in a dish. In the same vein as garlic, onion can make royal family members have bad breath, which is why the Queen limits its usage.

“We can never serve anything with garlic or too much onions,” McGrady said.



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I ate pizza for every meal for a week — and I somehow didn't gain any weight

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Last week I completed an experiment that I've dreamed about completing for most of my life: eating pizza for every meal for a week straight. Pizza is one of the most universally loved foods and it also happens to be my personal favorite food.

I set some rules for myself: I had to have pizza for every meal but I could vary the toppings. I could also drink whatever I wanted, so water, alcohol, etc. were all on the table. In this story, I took "pizza" to be pretty much your standard, traditional pizza with tomato sauce, cheese, and the occasional toppings.

I knew going into this experiment that what I was doing was not healthy in any way, but I wondered if there was any way healthy way to make pizza work for every meal. I asked a nutrition consultant Amy Gorin, MS, RDN (owner of Amy Gorin Nutrition in the New York City area) if there was any possible way to make the dream of eating pizza for every meal a reality.  

"The only way I can think of to make this work would be to vary each component of the pizza so that you're eating a variety of foods and plenty of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, whole grains, and healthy fats," Gorin said. "So for instance, you could swap out traditional crust for things like cauliflower crust, a Portobello mushroom, or even a Wasa cracker or two. You could use refried beans or pesto in lieu of traditional sauce. I would load up the pizza with a ton of vegetables and I wouldn't recommend eating cheese on pizza for every meal."

She also told me that by eating traditional pizza three times a day, my body was taking in lots of saturated fat from cheese and toppings like pepperoni and sausage and too much saturated fat can increase cholesterol levels.

Still, I gave it a shot. Here's how it all went down.  

I start my experiment with a Brooklyn Pie.

I Seamless a Brooklyn Pie from Williamsburg Pizza around 2 p.m. Williamsburg Pizza is a classic move — and it tastes just as good when you heat it up a few days later so I know this is the move to kick off a pizza-filled week.

I eat two slices for lunch and pop the rest in the refrigerator. Then I meet up with two former interns for some happy hour margaritas at Lupe's LA East Kitchen. I was prepared to forego my normal order of shrimp chipotle tacos but I wasn't prepared for the temptations of the complimentary chips and salsa that were brought to our table. On the way home I stopped by Ben's Pizza in SoHo to grab a buffalo chicken slice — my protein for the day.

Slice count: Three



On Friday, I enjoy eight slices of pizza.

I AM BLOATED. For breakfast, I heat up one of the leftover slices of the Williamsburg Pizza pie but scrape off the cheese to give my body a break from the dairy and drink a black iced coffee. I head to a morning meeting in SoHo and on my way back to Brooklyn I stop by Pomodoro to pick up one of their vodka sauce slices.

The vodka sauce is a nice change from classic tomato sauce and I feel good about consuming cheese again. My friend comes over for a few hours in the afternoon to hang out and around 6 p.m. I heat up a slice of the Williamsburg pie and add some prosciutto and brie cheese on top, which was absolutely delicious.

I made plans to meet with another friend for a quick bite and a beer with her and her mom and they were happy to grab some 'za to keep me on track. We order two pies from Evil Olive: one margarita and one mushroom and ricotta and I have two slices from each. If you think this sounds like a lot of pizza, there's still more.

My roommate and I are currently watching through an old season of "The Bachelorette" because this season was too predictable and at around 12:30 a.m. after a glass of wine I could feel my stomach grumble. I put together another prosciutto and Brie slice for myself and fell asleep feeling all kinds of content.

Slice count: Eight



On Saturday, I discover pizza avocado toast.

I wake up craving so many different foods. Remember steak? How about tacos? Sushi? French fries? But at this moment I am mostly missing my go-to breakfast dish, avocado toast. I grab an avocado from the refrigerator and heat up a slice in the oven. I scrape off about half of the cheese to make room for avocado slices. I take one bite and it's actually surprisingly delicious. There's something about the garlic-y pizza bread that is meshing well with the avocado.

I head to Hungry Ghost, one of my favorite Brooklyn coffee shops to do some freelance and blog work for the day. I order an iced matcha latte with almond milk when I get there and hang for a few hours. When the hunger sets in around 4 p.m., I run across the street to Carmine's and devour a plain slice. My boyfriend comes over for dinner and we order in from Milly's Pizzeria. Lucky for him, they offer more than just pizza and I try to hide my jealousy as he eats his shrimp scampi and I consume two more plain slices.

Slice count: Four



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11 things to know before taking pregnancy tests

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Taking a pregnancy test can be a nerve-wracking and exciting experience. When so much is riding on the outcome, it pays to know everything you can to ensure you're getting accurate results. 

Here are a few key facts about pregnancy tests and how to use them to get the most accurate result possible.

First, here's how pregnancy tests actually work.

According to theMayo Clinic, home pregnancy tests work by looking for the hormone human chorionic gonadotropin, or hCG for short. This hormone is rapidly produced in early pregnancy.

A home pregnancy test can detect elevated levels of hCG 12 to 14 days after conception.



The longer you wait to take a test, the more accurate your result will be.

It can feel nearly impossible to wait to take a pregnancy test. But you're more likely to get an accurate result if you're patient.

TheMayo Clinic advises that you "wait until after the first day of your missed period or, better yet, one week after your missed period."

If you are pregnant, the level of hCG in your urinedoubles every two to three days. Waiting means that you waste fewer pregnancy tests and avoid getting an inaccurate reading the first time around.



You should test first thing in the morning.

Using a pregnancy test first thing in the morning will help you get an accurate answer.

"By using urine from the first thing in the morning you actually have more of the hormone (hCG) that the test is looking for built up in your urine. This makes it more likely to get an accurate test reading," Dr. Robin Elise Weiss toldVerywell Family.



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The 2018 World Dog Surfing Championships just took place, and the photos are the best thing you'll see all day

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dog surfing championship

  • The 2018 World Dog Surfing Championship just took place in California, and the photos are perfect.
  • The canine competitors competed for numerous titles, including special achievement awards such as "WDSC Spirit of Surfing Award" and the "WDSC Shredder of the Year Award."

We all know dogs are life savers, heroes and huge forms of comfort, but apparently they're talented surfers, too.

Take a look at some of the amazing photos from this year's World Dog Surfing Competition, which took place on Linda Mar Beach on August 4th, 2018.

The 3rd Annual World Dog Surfing Championships just took place, and the photos are as amazing as anyone could have imagined.

The World Championships for Dog Surfing is a charity event that brings together dog surfing talent to compete for the gold.



Four dozen amateurs and top dog surfers gathered in Pacifica near San Francisco, California, to compete.

There were numerous awards dogs could take home, from the Small Surf Dogs Award to the WDSC Spirit of Surfing Award.



These dogs were hoping to take home the gold.

All proceeds are donated to the Humane Society and SPCA.



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