No one wants to deal with conflict, but in a professional organization, you have to because conflict rarely resolves itself.
In fact, the situation normally escalates negatively if not dealt with proactively and properly, says Katherine Crowley, a Harvard-trained psychotherapist, and Kathi Elster, an executive coach.
In their book "Mean Girls At Work," Crowley and Elster discuss the best ways to deal with different conflict scenarios that happen in the workplace.
PROBLEM: You're given harsh and demeaning feedback
Don't do this:
Don't get defensive and fight back.
Don't run around saying, "Can you believe what she just said to me?"
Don't let them see you crying or getting upset.
Do this:
Disarm them by using humor or a neutral response.
Ignore them. When the bully says something harsh, don't respond at all, and don't show (with your face or body posture) that they've hurt you.
Source: "Mean Girls At Work"
PROBLEM: Rumors are spread about you
Don't do this:
Don't counterattack by making up lies about her.
Don't enroll your girlfriends to attack her as a group.
Don't go to your boss and accuse your colleague of defaming your character.
Do this:
It's best to go directly to your lying colleague and let them know that you're onto their game.
Source: "Mean Girls At Work"
PROBLEM: You're ignored
Don't do this:
Don't stand up and walk out of the room.
Don't retaliate by cursing at her.
Don't say, "I'm obviously not welcome here."
Don't rush back to your desk and unfriend her on facebook.
Do this:
Calm yourself down and ask the colleague directly what you've done to offend them. It's best to do this in a private setting.
Source: "Mean Girls At Work"
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