- Gag gifts can be ephemeral, toss-in-the-trash things that have lost all their humor and relativity come next holiday season, but they don't have to be.
- Here at Insider Picks, we like a gag with some hang time. Now, not all of what you find below will last a lifetime, but with just the right delivery, the memory — and the laughs — just might.
There are over 400 pages of prank gifts on Amazon, and we're tired sick of sorting through fart jokes and politicians' puckered faces printed on toilet paper, but all for you, dear reader. Screaming goats, tiny violins, and remote-controlled venomous arachnids, we've got you covered.
Looking for more gift ideas? Check out all of Insider Picks' holiday gift guides for 2019 here.
A warning to those who leave their children unattended in cafes
"Unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten" sign, $12.99
Perfect for that friend who owns a cafe and just can't figure out how to deal with the unbridled children of their caffeine-fiend clientele.
A (loudly) screaming goat figurine and booklet
"The Screaming Goat" book and figure, $7.55
If they still can't get enough of that Screaming Goat video on YouTube, this is as blood-curdling — and annoying — as you might imagine. Trust me, I have one on my desk. My colleagues love me.
Blinker fluid, for the uninclined
Blinker Fluid, $6.95
We can all think of someone who this is for. Maybe they'll get the message now.
The world's smallest violin
3-Inch Miniature Violin Replica (with case), $11.98
Sorry, no pony this year, either, kiddo. Play it, momma.
A mock video game to drop the hint that it's time they pull their weight around the house
Extreme Chores: Motion Controlled Video Game (empty box), $7.49
For little Lord Fauntleroy. Yeah, maybe coal didn't quite get the message across, but this ought to do the trick. Note that this box comes empty, so you can also fill it with coal, if you so please.
Your face on a pair of socks
Custom Photo Face Socks, $15.59
Put the mug of their best friend (or worst enemy) on a pair of socks. Either way, they'll wear them. Trust us.
For those who ask too many questions
"What If? Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions," $11.49
Great coffee table (or commode) material for the coveter of useless information.
Help them slow that little tyke down
Toddler Tamers (gag kit), $7.99
Parents, rejoice!
An ice cream lock, so they'll stop blaming you for being the culprit
Ben & Jerry's Euphori-Lock Ice Cream Lock, $24.19
For the stingy one who'll never share their ice cream.
Poems by cats about what cats do best
"I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats," $9.89
For your friend, family member, or housemate who's just a little too in love with their feline and could stand a reality check.
A muffler whistle, to terrorize both them and the neighborhood
Muffler Whistles, $8.79
To the know-it-all mechanic(s) in your life: Fix this!
Your face (or theirs) on a real potato
Potato Pal, $17.99
Your face on a potato. How could they not savor this forever and ever?
One dozen rattlesnake eggs (keep warm for best results)
(Fake) Rattlesnake Eggs, $7.99
Best delivered incubator-warm.
A bag of "the world's strongest coffee"
Death Wish Coffee Co. Coffee, $19.99
We only hope they'll get this is a gag.
An impossible-to-solve puzzle
Ravensburger Puzzle, $15.68
Something to finally stump that very special whiz kid you know.
A remote-controlled scorpion (be sure to pre-open and gift-wrap this one)
Remote-Controlled Scorpion, $15.99
Have the remote handy for when they open this one; it'll work a lot better.
A game for the whole family
Relative Insanity Party Game, $14.16
Think "Cards Against Humanity," but for some wholesome fun for the whole family.
A personal cleansing wheel (in lieu of the bidet they keep asking for)
Roto Wipe Personal Cleansing Wheel, $7.99
So they'll finally stop pestering you for that exorbitant bidet thing they all love so much over in Europe. (Note: This is just an empty box in which to wrap your real gift.)
Instructions for gracefully approaching (and achieving) senescence
"How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man," $6.39
Dear Dad (or Grandpa)...
Snot (and tear) mittens, for those who work outdoors, or just won't stop wiping their nose on their sleeve
Snittens, The Original Snot Mittens, $19.99
One side for snot, the other for tears. Maybe after receiving this, they'll stop wiping their nose on their sleeve, or their bare hands. Probably not. Either way, they actually work!
A practice putting green for the bathroom
Toilet Golf, $9.95
If their Golf Digest subscription just isn't cutting it on long trips to the john anymore, they can always stand to work on their short game.